1. Be sure your children know how proud you are of them. Actions don’t always speak louder than words. They might be too distracted to notice your actions, but they need to know how you feel. It is important to their self-confidence that they know that they have your support. Celebrate them & their accomplishments.
2. Begin to give them a little more freedom than you have before. They will have full freedoms in college, and your offering to give them a little more freedom at home now will communicate to them that you understand their desires.
3. Spend time having fun together. Going on a trip together, having a fun night out, or a family game night at home will develop your family relationship and give you time to spend with your child before she goes off to college. Give them great memories of family time.
4. Have a talk about money and time management. The truth is, most college freshmen do not know how to manage money or time. They need to practice this before moving to college and hear helpful advice for mastering both managing principles.
5. Have a talk about relationships. Many students don’t go into college fully understanding that the people they meet and form friendships with will dictate who they become and how they are perceived by others. They need to be wise about who they begin to develop relationships with.
6. Ask them about their goals, dreams, & plans. If this doesn’t sound like a normal conversation to have with your child, then you are in a relational deficit. Two reasons this is important: one, asking them to share makes them think about their future and, secondly, it shows them that you care and are interested in them.
7. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Most teenagers don’t think that their parents understand them. They often feel that parents just want to instruct them, which makes them feel more like a child than a young adult. Ask questions and then listen. Resist the urge to always put in your “two cents” and wait to offer advice until they ask for it.
8. Tell them about your college experience. Be careful not to just tell a bunch of party stories without sharing the lessons that you have learned. Don’t be afraid to share with them some of your struggles and successes. Let them know that you were actually in their shoes once and that you understand what they are going through.
9. Encourage them to stay connected to their mentors. There is no doubt that your child has had ministry leaders, teachers and coaches who have impacted him in his growth and walk with Christ during his years in high school. Encourage him to stay connected to these influences throughout the summer and even while in college. Everyone needs mentors in their life, and until your child replaces those relationships, there will be a void.
10. Talk out the specifics. Because your child has never lived on her own before, she is not accustomed to thinking about all of the specific details that independence will involve. You know these things because of experience and wisdom. Share that wisdom with her as you talk out the details that she may not have thought of yet.
11. Ask them for advice. This one may sound strange, but if you are going to trust your college student to be away on his own, you should trust his opinion as well. Think of something that you need his advice on and ask. One, it will assure him that you see him as a young adult, and two, you might actually learn something.
12. Pray with them and for them. Nothing will tell your child that you care more than to sit him down and pray over him. If this is not natural for your family, then do it often enough so that it begins to feel more normal. Let your child know that you will continue to pray for him daily while he is in college.