One of the biggest fears high school seniors have when heading into college is, “What if I don’t find my people?” It’s a fair question. Whether you’re going to a huge state school or a small private college, stepping onto a new campus can feel overwhelming. But here’s the encouraging part: community is waiting for you—it just takes a little initiative to find it.
When you think about what you want your college experience to be, classes and dorm life come to mind. But what really makes or breaks your experience? People. The connections you form in college can impact your success, your mental health, and even the way you grow in your faith. So let’s talk about how to build that community and make college more than just a place you study.
1. Say Yes More Than You Say No
Your first semester is a season of “try it and see.” Someone invites you to a Bible study? Say yes. A club meeting? Sure. A dorm event, a game night, or even just a spontaneous dinner in the dining hall? Say yes. You don’t have to commit to everything forever, but showing up is half the battle. The more places you show up, the more chances you have to meet people who could become close friends.
2. Be the Initiator
Waiting around for people to find you is a recipe for loneliness. Be brave and be the one who starts the conversation, sends the text, or organizes the coffee meet-up. You don’t have to be the most outgoing person in the room to be the one who builds connections. Simple things like asking someone to walk to class or join you for lunch can lead to real friendships.
3. Look for People Who Share Your Values
The people who make your college experience amazing might not look, think, or act just like you—but shared values matter. Whether it’s your faith, your commitment to academics, or your love for cheesy sitcoms, find people who want to grow and encourage each other. Your community should be a place where you’re safe to be yourself, but also challenged to grow.
4. Don’t Underestimate Small Talk
It may feel awkward, but small talk can be the bridge to deeper conversation. Don’t worry about impressing people—just be curious and kind. Ask where they’re from, what they’re majoring in, what dorm they live in. Small moments add up. Before you know it, you’ll have built familiarity, which leads to connection, which leads to real community.
5. Invest in People, Not Just Activities
It’s easy to join clubs, attend events, and still feel lonely. Why? Because you can fill your schedule without ever really connecting with someone. Don’t just focus on being busy—focus on being known. Invest time in getting to know people, asking questions, and listening. The more intentional you are, the deeper your friendships will grow.
6. Let God Lead
You’re not in this alone. Pray for friends. Ask God to bring people into your life who will encourage you, sharpen you, and walk through this season with you. And don’t be surprised when He answers that prayer in unexpected ways. Stay open to the people He places around you.
At the end of the day, community won’t happen overnight, and it won’t always look like you expected. But if you keep showing up, stay authentic, and lean into the moments that matter, you’ll build a college experience rooted in connection and belonging.
