One of the most unexpected (and often unspoken) challenges of graduating high school and heading into college is how much friendships can shift. You may not see it coming—you graduate with a group of people you’ve grown up with, shared memories with, maybe even considered your chosen family. And then suddenly, you’re scattered.
It can feel confusing, disorienting, and even painful. If you’re worried about losing friends or already feeling some distance, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong.
Change Is Normal, Even When It Hurts
Here’s the truth: friendships naturally evolve with life transitions. That doesn’t mean they weren’t real or meaningful. It just means you’re all growing—and growing sometimes means growing in different directions.
Some friends will stay in touch. Some might slowly fade. Some may show up again later in new ways. And all of that is okay. It’s normal. It doesn’t mean you’re unloved or unworthy of good relationships.
Grieve What You Need To, But Don’t Get Stuck There
It’s okay to miss people. It’s okay to feel lonely. It’s okay to not know how to keep in touch. Those feelings are valid.
But don’t let missing the past keep you from embracing what’s ahead. The best way to move forward is to start reaching out. Even when it’s awkward. Even when it feels like everyone else already has “their people.”
Friendships Take Time—So Start Early
The truth is, everyone else is nervous too. Everyone else is wondering who they’ll sit with in the dining hall or who to text after a hard day. So be the one who starts.
Say yes to things, even when you’d rather stay in. Invite someone to grab coffee after class. Join a campus ministry, club, or student organization where you can find people with shared values or interests.
Don’t wait for friendship to just happen—take small steps. Invest early, and over time, you’ll find people who feel like home.
It’s Not About Quantity, It’s About Depth
You don’t need a huge group. Just one or two people who really see you can make all the difference.
Look for friendships that challenge you to grow, that encourage your faith, and that let you be yourself. Be that kind of friend, too. Because college isn’t just about finding the right people—it’s about becoming the kind of person others can trust and lean on.
God Is With You—Even In the Loneliness
There will be moments when you feel alone. Don’t believe the lie that everyone else has it figured out except you. They don’t.
Use those moments to lean into God. Let Him be your constant when everything else feels uncertain. Ask Him to bring the right people into your life—and to help you notice the ones who might already be there.
You’re Not Alone in This
So if you’re heading into college worried about leaving old friends or struggling to make new ones, take a deep breath. You are not alone.
Give yourself grace. Give others patience. And don’t give up. The best friendships of your life may still be ahead—but you have to show up for them, even when it’s hard.
You’ve got this. And God is going with you every step of the way.
